Best positions for satisfying sx

IF you're interested in learning about effective and satisfying positions for making love, first let me stress that it's not compulsory to make love in lots of different positions.

Some couples have a wonderful sx life never varying from the traditional missionary position. Don't get the idea that you have to be a contortionist to be a good lover. There is a lot of emphasis on variety in love-making these days, but it is meant to be enjoyable variety.

However, if your partner wants to experiment, do at least be willing to give it a try. If one of you favours a position the other isn't so keen on, you can easily make love for a while in one position, and then swap over to the other's favourite. Obviously if the man tends to climax in one position and the woman in another, it makes sense to choose the woman's favourite first.

To start with, it does of course help to have a basic understanding of what usually leads to orgasm. For men it is mainly stimulation of the penis but, while most women enjoy vaginal penetration, it is mainly stimulation of the clitoris which is most effective and for some, it's been suggested, the G spot. The clitoris is just in front of the vagina, and the G spot is inside the vagina, along the front wall, behind the pubic bone.

The man-on-top positions, in which the man lies between the woman's legs, are probably the most commonly used. They are, for most men, the easiest in which to climax.

In this position, the couple can kiss and cuddle one another while they make love, they can vary from shallow to deep penetration, and vary the angle of stimulation by making small adjustments, such as the woman bending her knees.

So the possibilities of the missionary position are not to be under-estimated - though some women find they get more sensation if they place a pillow beneath their bottom.

For most women this is a good position for conception too - and if that's your aim, it's helpful to stay lying on your back for half an hour or so after making love.

If a woman is pregnant, then it can be comfortable for her to make love lying on her back on the bed, with her lower legs over the edge, feet on the ground. The man can then stand between her legs, half lying on the bed so that she doesn't have to take his full weight.

Many couples find woman-on-top positions particularly satisfying. They allow the woman to control both the depth and pace of intercourse, so she can experiment to achieve the best stimulation for her.

This position is also useful if the woman is anxious, and has perhaps been suffering from problems with making love because of this, and sometimes men who have been suffering from premature ejaculation or erection problems find this a less anxiety-producing position. Obviously, woman-on-top positions are also useful if the woman is pregnant or the man much heavier.

Most commonly, the woman kneels with her legs either side of the man's. You can achieve deep penetration, and see and caress one another. Variations are that the woman can kneel facing away from the man, for a different angle of stimulation, or they can sit facing one another on a chair, with the woman effectively sitting on the man's lap.

Couples can make love with the man entering the vagina from the rear - lying, standing, sitting or kneeling, with the man or woman on top. These positions usually give great scope for the man caressing his partner's body during intercourse, so can be very helpful, for example, for women who have problems reaching orgasm. The man can caress her breasts or clitoris at the same time as making love.

Side-by-side positions are ideal for relaxed love-making and during pregnancy. The couple can either lie facing one another, in which case the woman usually places her upper leg over the man's side, or they can lie in the spoons position, tucked into each other, facing the same way. This can be a good one when the man is tired or has been ill, as he can achieve deep penetration with little movement, there is good stimulation of the G spot and he can use his hands to stimulate the clitoris.

The novelty of standing positions can add a thrill but they're rarely the most practicable - differing heights often pose a problem. The couple can simply stand face to face, the woman with her legs apart. They can see and kiss one another, and their hands are free to stimulate and caress. The man standing behind the woman, as I've mentioned, can be helpful for a woman who finds orgasm difficult, since he can easily stimulate her at the same time.

Real athletes try making love with the man standing, and the woman wrapping her legs round his waist. They can see and kiss one another but it is tiring!

I hope this has given you some new ideas to try. Remember, it's not compulsory to vary but sometimes a change of position can bring improved satisfaction.

If what you need isn't so much just a change of position but advice to sort out a sexual problem, such as lack of orgasm, perhaps, loss of sex drive, erection difficulties or premature ejaculation, then do let me know.

Keeping viruses at bay

PARIS - SIMPLE, low-cost measures such as hand-washing, wearing masks and quarantining infected patients provide a good shield against the spread of flu and other respiratory viruses, a study published on Wednesday said.

Doctors led by Tom Jefferson, a professor in the Acute Respiratory Infections Group at the Cochrane Collaboration in Rome, carried out an overview of 59 published trials into protective measures against these microbes.

The pathogens included the ordinary cold virus, the Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (Sars) virus and the influenza virus, but not the current H1N1 pandemic strain.

The trials had widely-ranging formats but essentially looked at the number of people who were infected when protective measures were implemented, as compared to the number who fell sick when there was no such protection.

Vaccines and antiviral drugs were not included in these studies.

In hospital settings, regular hand-washing - more than 10 times a day - and the use of masks, gloves and surgical gowns were each effective against spreading respiratory virus, but were especially useful when combined, according to the paper.

Hygiene measures in the home, targeted particularly at younger children, also helped prevent transmission. 'Perhaps this is because younger children are least capable of hygienic behaviour and have longer-lived infections and greater social contact, thereby acting as portals of infection into the household,' the authors said.

Two studies found that isolating potentially infected individuals was also effective.

But the review uncovered only limited evidence that much-touted 'N95' surgical masks are better than simple face masks. N95 masks are more uncomfortable and more expensive and can also cause skin irritation, it found.

The team admitted it was hard in some cases to draw a generalised picture, given the diversity of the studies and frequent sketchiness of the data. Even so, some simple measures have high potential for reducing the toll from a viral respiratory epidemic, it said.

'Vaccines work best in those who are universally considered least to need them - namely, healthy adults. Antivirals may be harmful and their benefits depend on the identification of the agent,' it said.

'But physical interventions are effective, safe, flexible, universally applicable and relatively cheap.' The paper is published online by the British Medical Journal (bmj.com). -- AFP

Beware animal diseases

WASHINGTON - THE United States needs to lead a global effort to protect people from new outbreaks of deadly infectious diseases that originate in animals, such as swine flu, Aids and Sars, health experts said on Tuesday.

Air travel, climate change, population growth and rising demand for meat products from developing countries have accelerated the spread of 'zoonotic' diseases, according to a panel set up by the Institute of Medicine and the National Research Council.

Species-jumping pathogens also pose special dangers for people because the human immune system can be ill-equipped to resist them.

But health authorities have no effective system that can stamp out new diseases as they arise among animals and humans.

'At the moment, it's like a wildfire,' said Dr Gerald Keusch of Boston University, who helped lead the committee that wrote the report. 'We deal with it as an emergency. It costs huge amounts of resources. It would be a lot cheaper and cost-effective to have a system in place.'

The panel called for a sustainable, integrated surveillance system to monitor animal and human populations worldwide and for moving quickly to contain new outbreaks.

Such a system could have provided early detection for the H1N1 swine flu virus, which became a pandemic weeks after it emerged in North America in March, said the panel's other co-chair, Marguerite Pappaioanou of the Association of American Veterinary Medical Colleges.

'The swine influenza virus basically was circulating for probably about 10 years,' she said. 'There also is evidence to suggest that the first opportunity for the swine virus to jump into people was probably during the summer of 2008.'

Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome, or Sars, which may have come from civets, circulated for months in southern China before it spread globally in 2003, killing 800 people before it was stopped. Aids, which has killed 25 million people in 25 years, has been traced to chimpanzees. -- REUTERS

Cancer plagues poor nations

BERLIN - CANCER is a bigger killer in developing countries than tuberculosis, malaria and Aids combined and a 'tsunami' of the disease threatens to overwhelm the nations worst equipped to cope, experts said on Tuesday.

While only about 5 per cent of global resources for cancer are spent in developing countries, the burden of the disease is far greater there, they said, with 60 per cent of last year's 7.6 million cancer deaths occurring in poorer nations.

Women-specific cancers like breast and cervical cancer, which account for more than a quarter of all female deaths worldwide, could be dramatically cut in low and middle-income nations by improving awareness and detection, they said.

'There are tens of millions of people living with cancer or at risk of cancer in low and middle-income countries who do not benefit from all these advances,' said Anne Reeler, who launched a report on cancer in poorer countries at the ECCO-ESMO European cancer congress in Berlin.

Dr Reeler noted that while experts gathered in Berlin to discuss ground-breaking and often highly expensive medical advances that may help cancer sufferers in the rich world, poorer nations have almost no access to even the most basic treatments.

'In Ethiopia, for instance, what we often find is that by the time women come to a clinic they literally have a tumour protruding through the breast,' she said. 'They've spent two years going to see traditional healers and using holy water, and when they come to clinics it's too late to do anything for them.

'So awareness - getting rid of the myth that cancer kills and you can do nothing about it - is really important.' Oncology experts expect a doubling of cancer cases across the world in the next 20 years and estimate that more than half of the 12.4 million new cases in 2008 occurred in low and middle income countries, a pattern predicted to continue.

David Kerr, a contributor to the report by a international cancer working group called CanTreat, and a professor of cancer medicine at Britain's Oxford University, said this was 'wake-up call' for those concerned about the developing world.

'If there is a coming tsunami of cancer, and there surely is, then now is when we need to start working together to develop new models of cancer care so that we are prepared for it in the developing world,' he told Reuters.

'We are facing a huge increase in cancer burden, and that burden will fall predominantly in those countries which are least well-equipped to deal with it - no infrastructure, no training, no docs, no nurses, no gadgets, no nothing.' -- REUTERS

Heart Disease

INTRODUCTION
The UK has one of the highest rates of death from heart disease in the world - one British adult dies from the disease every three minutes - and stroke is the country's third biggest killer, claiming 70,000 lives each year.

Heart attacks occur when blood flow is blocked, often by a blood clot, while strokes are caused either by blocked or burst blood vessels in the brain. A range of other conditions, including heart failure, when blood is not pumped properly around the body, and congenital heart defects can also cause long term problems, and even death, for sufferers.

Cancer: The facts

About our cancer statistics

The statistics reproduced in our guides to common forms of cancer come from Cancer Research UK and the NHS, via the Office for National Statistics.

The most recent year for which a full set of statistical data is available is 2005.

This is for various reasons, primarily the natural delay in producing an accurate, full set of data concerning cancer, and also the complexities involved in collating data collected across different parts of the United Kingdom, which publish data at different times.

There are a number of points to bear in mind when studying the data.

MAKING COMPARISONS

Our graphics make broad comparisons between the number of cases for a specific cancer in a given year, and the number of deaths which resulted from the same cancer in the same year.

It is important to note that these two sets of figures are not always directly related.

For example, the figure for deaths includes all those from the named cancer in a given year, not just those from cases reported in that same year.

So some patients with a given cancer may have first reported their case in previous years, and will not be included in the current year's statistics for cases, even if this is the year in which they died.

However, the statistics do offer a broad comparison between the number of cases and deaths reported in a given year, which can help in illustrating the usual severity and survival rate of the cancer in question.

Equally, comparisons made between sets of data over time may have been slightly influenced by changes in the way Cancer Research or the NHS report their statistics.

The process of reporting cancer statistics is evolving, and methods change over time. This may lead to a slight fluctuation in statistics for cases, deaths, and rates of incidence and mortality.

RATES OF INCIDENCE AND MORTALITY

These two rates show how frequently the given cancer occurs in the UK population over a year.

They are worked out by dividing the total number of cases (incidence) or deaths (mortality) by the UK population, multiplying by 100,000, then age-standardising the result - in other words, adjusting the formula so that the result can be compared to different communities.

Age standardisation takes into account the spread of ages in the population being looked at, in this case the UK. The process removes the possibility that, when comparing cancer data, differences in rates are simply the result of people of different ages living in different communities.

This is why taking the 2005 total for cases or deaths, dividing by the UK population (e.g. 60,000,000) and multiplying by 100,000 will not produce the result for rates of incidence or mortality seen in the same graphic.

GREAT BRITAIN AND THE UNITED KINGDOM

Each of our graphics carries labels showing the parts of the world to which the data shown applies.

In the case of our cancer statistics, the majority of the data applies to the entire United Kingdom. These are marked "UK".

However, because of differences in the way data is captured and stored, some of our graphics do not include data for Northern Ireland. These are marked "GB" (or Great Britain).

SKIN CANCER

In keeping with most major cancer research organisations, we have not included figures for non-melanoma skin cancer in our totals for overall cancer or skin cancer.

Non-melanoma skin cancer is the most common type of cancer, with more than 100,000 estimated UK cases each year, including many which Cancer Research suspects are not reported.

Most cases of non-melanoma skin cancer can be treated and cured, so these skin cancers are often excluded from national cancer statistics.

How to Please Your Woman in Bed

It has long been a debate and a question if one of the best ways to please your woman in bed is by having a bigger penis. Studies and surveys here and there have probed into this subject and there are indeed results about women associating a bigger penis to sexual satisfaction.

Some studies have revealed that the bigger the size of the penis, the more it can be able to stimulate the sensitive parts of the woman, and the penis with larger girth are said to provide more sexual satisfaction.

Although there are a number of women too that says size does not really matter but the performance does. The association of sexual satisfaction to the size of the penis has also lead to men being obsessed with the size of their penis - and eventually the emergence of many penis enlargement products in the market to address this obsession.

Sometimes this is also an issue among married couple, which they fail to address or talk about, as this can be a sensitive issue to both the man and the wife. If you are one of those bothered by the size of your penis and you want to at least, learn how to please your woman in bed, you might be thinking there is no way you can do about it. You actually have options - do good in your performance and find ways to, at least, enhance the size of your penis.

With the many methods and techniques that you can find in the market now, you must also be careful in your choices because some may have more risks than good results. If you want ways on how to please your woman in bed and you are looking at the possibility of enhancing the size of your penis, you can have a number of options.

Probably the most common you can find in the market is the pill, but it may not be the safest. Surgeries of increasing the size of the penis are also available, but like any other surgical procedure, the results are fast but the risk is high and the cost can be expensive. You can also find a number of devices and pumps intended to increase penis size, and of course, the penile enlargement exercises, which is probably the safest and cheapest among all the options.

It is important to note that problems with premature ejaculation and problems with erection which can be frustrating to women, are also among the common sexual problems that can hinder you to please your woman in bed. Penile exercises are not only good for increasing the size of your penis but can also help you overcome premature ejaculation and other erection problems.

Learning how to please your woman in bed may not be difficult at all if you know how to exercise your penis - not only for enhancing size but also for overcoming other sexual problems.

In Bed Satisfaction

In case you had any doubt that taking charge can improve your sex life, now there's proof: For women, being less passive in bed is associated with increased sexual satisfaction and a better ability to reach the big O, says a recent study in the journal Personal Relationships. Too shy to bust out in the bedroom? Sex expert Emma Taylor offers these tips for bashful babes.

1. Change the context
Some women are nervous to ask for what they want during sex because they feel it sounds too demanding. "Try broaching the subject in a different setting where you can express your desires in a more relaxed way," says Em. "Cuddle up to him while watching a sexy scene on TV and whisper, 'I hope we'll try that tonight.'" He'll be receptive to your feedback, no matter when you offer it.

2. Act the part
You're unlikely to suddenly transform into a tigress — but you can pretend to be one. "Even if it scares you, just do it — make the movements to get on top, pin him against the wall, whatever you'd like to do," says Em. "By simply going through the motions, taking charge will start to feel normal, and you'll be more confident for real."

3. Use a crutch
Get help in the form of a sex manual, a book of erotica, or an online sex shop. "Flipping through a book or browsing a Website together can work as an icebreaker," says Em. "The images and the ideas you encounter will make it easy to point out what appeals to you without having to form the words for yourself." Plus, checking out hot-and-heavy material makes for great foreplay!

H1N1 vaccine

SHANGHAI: The Shanghai Institute of Biological Sciences has received the license for mass production of the Influenza A (H1N1) vaccine from the State Food and Drug Administration, Xinhua news agency reported Wednesday.

Head of BioProduct Centre Ma Xianghu told the Chinese news agency that the city-made vaccine adopted the state-of-the-art ether technique with less residue and weak clinical side effects.

Prior to the National Day on Oct 1, the institute will produce three million bottles of A(H1N1) flu vaccine, and its output will reach 10 million bottles at the end of the year, according to Ma.

On Tuesday night, officials with the institute met the Ministry of Industry and Information Technology, which is in charge of vaccine production and storage, to discuss production plans, according to Wednesday’s Shanghai Daily.

The free vaccine, with purchase price covered by the government, is for people aged over three and one shot is reportedly enough to protecting against the A(H1N1) flu virus.

City vaccination plans drafted by the Shanghai Health Bureau are still being evaluated by the Ministry of Health.

“We will give preferential consideration to vulnerable groups like students, the elderly, medical care workers and public service staff as well as people working for the 2010 Shanghai World Expo,” Song Guofan, an Expo official, was quoted by the local newspaper as saying.

Wang Mengliang, vice-director of the Shanghai Institute of Biological Sciences, said domestic vaccine producers were facing a huge demand.

The institute is the country’s third licensed mass producer of A(H1N1) flu vaccine. Sinovac Biotech Ltd in Beijing and Hualan Biological Engineering Inc in Henan, have also received licenses to produce A(H1N1) flu vaccine. -- Bernama

Depression affects survival

VANCOUVER (British Columbia) - DEPRESSION can affect the likelihood of surviving cancer, but there is no clear association yet with how quickly the cancer progresses, according to a report published on Monday.

Death rates are nearly 40 per cent higher for cancer patients diagnosed with major or minor depression, according to University of British Columbia researchers who surveyed more than two dozen international clinical studies.

'We found an increased risk of death in patients who report more depressive symptoms than others, and also in patients who have been diagnosed with a depressive disorder compared to patients who have not,' Jillian Satin, the report's lead researcher said.

The report was published in the online edition of the American Cancer Society's journal Cancer.

Eighty-five per cent of cancer patients believe their mental state affects how quickly the disease progresses, but the Canadian researchers said that belief is not actually supported by the few studies that looked at it.

The researchers admitted they were surprised by the lack of clear link between depression and cancer progression, and cautioned that may be because so few clinical studies have been done on the subject. -- REUTERS

Shower heads spray bacteria

CHICAGO - SHOWER heads can deliver a face full of dangerous pathogens, according to a study published on Monday which found them to be ideal breeding grounds for bacteria.

US researchers analysed 50 shower heads from nine different cities and found 30 per cent harboured significant levels of a pathogen linked to lung disease called mycobacterium avium.

While the pathogen is common in municipal water systems, the levels found clinging to shower heads in slimy 'biofilms' were more than 100 times higher than the 'background' levels in the water.

'If you are getting a face full of water when you first turn your shower on, that means you are probably getting a particularly high load of Mycobacterium avium, which may not be too healthy,' said lead author Norman Pace, a microbiologist at the University of Colorado at Boulder.

Pace's team began studying shower heads after research at the National Jewish Hospital in Denver found that recent increases in pulmonary infections from so-called 'non-tuberculosis' mycobacteria species like M. avium may be linked to people taking more showers and fewer baths.

That's because water spurting from shower heads can distribute pathogen-filled droplets that are easily inhaled into the deepest parts of the lungs.

'There have been some precedents for concern regarding pathogens and shower heads,' said Dr Pace. 'But until this study we did not know just how much concern.' Immune-compromised people like pregnant women, the elderly and those fighting off other diseases are most at risk of developing pulmonary disease caused by M. avium.

The symptoms include tiredness, a persistent, dry cough, shortness of breath, weakness and 'generally feeling bad,' Dr Pace said.

The researchers sampled shower heads in public facilities, houses and apartment buildings in New York, Illinois, Colorado, Tennessee and North Dakota. They found lower levels of pathogens in smaller towns and cities which used well water rather than municipal water.

They also found that metal shower heads harbored far fewer pathogens than plastic shower heads. The results do not indicate that people should switch from showers to baths, said co-author Laura Baumgartner, also of the University of Colorado.

'Is it dangerous? Getting out of bed is dangerous,' she said in a telephone interview. 'Everywhere you go there are microbes.' Switching to a metal shower head, especially one with a filter than can be changed regularly, can help reduce the buildup of pathogens.

Stepping outside the room for a minute after turning the shower on can also reduce the likelihood of inhaling pathogens that get pushed out of the shower head with the first burst of water, she said. 'For the average person, you shouldn't not be worried at all.' The study was published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. -- AFP

Heart disease: 90% in US at risk

WASHINGTON - NINETY per cent of American adults have at least one risk factor for heart disease, researchers reported on Monday.

Virtually all Americans either have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high blood sugar, are overweight, smoke or exercise too little, the team led by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported.

'Unfortunately, the limited strides that were made towards this goal during the 1970s and 1980s were eroded by the increases in excess weight, diabetes and hypertension during more recent decades,' the CDC's Dr Earl Ford, who led the study, said in a statement.

Dr Ford's team looked at four national studies covering tens of thousands of Americans aged 25 to 74.

Only 10 per cent had low risk scores in all five categories, they reported in the journal Circulation.

'Until the early 90s, we were moving in a positive direction, but then it took a turn and we're headed in a negative direction,' said Dr Ford.

'When you look at the individual factors, tobacco use is still headed in the right direction and so are cholesterol levels, although that has leveled off. The problem is that blood pressure, BMI (body mass index, a measure of obesity) and diabetes are all headed in the wrong direction.'

Heart disease is the No 1 killer in the United States and many other countries. -- REUTERS

Bed sharing 'bad for your health'

Couples should consider sleeping apart for the good of their health and relationship, say experts.

Sleep specialist Dr Neil Stanley told the British Science Festival how bed sharing can cause rows over snoring and duvet-hogging and robs precious sleep.

One study found that, on average, couples suffered 50% more sleep disturbances if they shared a bed.

Dr Stanley, who sleeps separately from his wife, points out that historically we were never meant to share our beds.

He said the modern tradition of the marital bed only began with the industrial revolution, when people moving to overcrowded towns and cities found themselves short of living space.

Before the Victorian era it was not uncommon for married couples to sleep apart. In ancient Rome, the marital bed was a place for sexual congress but not for sleeping.

Dr Stanley, who set up one of Britain's leading sleep laboratories at the University of Surrey, said the people of today should consider doing the same.

"It's about what makes you happy. If you've been sleeping together and you both sleep perfectly well, then don't change, but don't be afraid to do something different.

"We all know what it's like to have a cuddle and then say 'I'm going to sleep now' and go to the opposite side of the bed. So why not just toddle off down the landing?"

Tossing and turning

He said poor sleep was linked to depression, heart disease, strokes, lung disorders, traffic and industrial accidents, and divorce, yet sleep was largely ignored as an important aspect of health.

Dr Robert Meadows, a sociologist at the University of Surrey, said: "People actually feel that they sleep better when they are with a partner but the evidence suggests otherwise."

He carried out a study to compare how well couples slept when they shared a bed versus sleeping separately.

Based on 40 couples, he found that when couples share a bed and one of them moves in his or her sleep, there is a 50% chance that their slumbering partner will be disturbed as a result.

Despite this, couples are reluctant to sleep apart, with only 8% of those in their 40s and 50s sleeping in separate rooms, the British Science Festival heard.

Orgasm for women

WE hear a lot these days about how people can and should make love, but there are virtually no rules for good sex.

It isn't compulsory to have an orgasm. As long as a woman is left feeling satisfied, neither she nor her partner should feel that they have in any way failed because she hasn't had an orgasm.

Sex is for your pleasure, not to pass some test or keep up with the Jones's.

Many women, however, while they enjoy intercourse with their partner, never or rarely reach orgasm, and are left feeling dissatisfied as a result.

Women's problems over orgasm vary. Some women have never experienced an orgasm at all. This is often because they were brought up to think of sex as something not quite nice.

Parents worried about daughters getting pregnant may keep impressing on them that they mustn't get carried away. It is small wonder that, when they have a partner, they can't suddenly undo all those lessons to their sub-conscious.

Before a woman who has never experienced an orgasm can help her partner to help her to climax, she has to learn for herself what pleases her.

Sex is a positive pleasure, and there is nothing wrong with enjoying it, even when you are alone.

Having given yourself permission to enjoy your sexuality, you have to find out what turns you on, explore the effect of different caresses of the genital area.

There is nothing wrong with self-stimulation - in fact it is a basic part of the treatment prescribed by sex therapists.

It's not stimulation of the vagina, by the way, but of the clitoris that leads to orgasm for most women - the clitoris is the little peak you can feel in the front of the vagina.

When you have an orgasm it feels like an internal throbbing. The intensity varies widely. It can be fierce and wild, it may be quiet and sensuous. The common denominator is it certainly should feel pleasurable.

Some women learn how to masturbate, perhaps as teenagers, but find they are unable to reach a climax with their partner, even if he stimulates them in a similar way.

The most likely cause of this is a variation on the inhibited feelings mentioned before. Their sub-conscious will not let them admit to anyone else that they are enjoying sex.

Sharing regular sessions of all-over massage can help a couple start communicating physically and sexually. Use a little cream or oil, massage and stroke one another all over. Say what feels good and what not-so-good.

When the time feels right, you can begin showing one another how to give the most pleasure by stroking and massaging the sexual areas, too. The only rule is that you should both enjoy it.

Modern-style vibrators designed especially to suit women's sexual responses can make a terrific difference.

Check out www.emotionalbliss.co.uk, www.durex.co.uk and www.passion8.co.uk.

Tingletip is a tiny but powerful vibrator for clitoral stimulation only, designed to fit on the head of an electric toothbrush - so great for travelling (www.tingletip.com).

The Vielle range (www.vielle.co.uk), which includes a non-electrical clitoral stimulator, lubricant and stimulating gel, is widely available in pharmacies and Boots.

Some women can climax when masturbating or when stimulated in some similar way by their partner, but cannot reach orgasm during intercourse.

In fact, this is normal, as only a minority of women do climax during intercourse. Most reach orgasm through other stimulation.

Many couples have perfectly happy ways of making love which involve the man stimulating the woman until she climaxes, either before or after intercourse.

It really doesn't matter how or when a woman reaches her climax, as long as she enjoys it, but if a couple feel that they very much would like the woman to climax during intercourse, they may find a change in position will help or he can caress her at the same time.

The vagina has comparatively few nerve endings and the clitoris has many. Basically, few women can possibly climax unless they are receiving some form of clitoral stimulation.

Of course, it is important for the man to be sure that the woman is really aroused before he attempts intercourse, so they must share lots of loving foreplay first.

Also the man has to be able to sustain intercourse for a reasonable length of time, since it is important to keep stimulating a woman right up to and during orgasm.

If premature ejaculation is a problem, however, let me know because I can send you a free leaflet on how to solve the problem.

Reaching a climax needs some muscle tension and you can give this a nudge in the right direction.

You need to have at least half an hour of foreplay to be sure the woman is fully aroused. Then she shouldn't try to relax but tense the pelvic-floor muscle (if you're unsure how to do this, my free leaflet on increasing sexual sensation explains).

If she then arches her back and puts her head back, this gets her body in the right position to reach climax, as long as her partner carries on pleasuring her.

Assuming a couple feel free to experiment with what feels good to them, then they have a good chance of discovering what will lead to the woman achieving full sexual satisfaction pretty frequently, if not every time.

However, some couples experiment with different positions and techniques and still draw a blank. Too much alcohol can dry up the vaginal secretions and reduce the blood flow to the sex organs.

This in turn can make sex more painful and will affect a woman's ability to have an orgasm.

Loss of orgasm can also be linked with major changes in a woman's life such as childbirth or the menopause. Depression can severely damp down sexual feelings.

It could be that she's had a bad sexual experience in the past or that there's some problem in her relationship with her partner, and unaided you can't stop it getting in the way.

For more details about the help available, or if you want a step-by-step explanation of the self-help therapy suggested earlier, do write for my more detailed free leaflet on solving orgasm problems which explains all this and gives contacts for finding expert sex therapy.

Solving erection problems

IT is doubly frustrating for a man when he can't get or maintain a firm enough erection to make love.

Not only does he feel unfulfilled sexually but it is so maddening to know you want to make love, know you desire your partner, but find yourself unable to control the crucial bit of your body.


It's even worse when your partner feels very threatened by your not making love to her and starts accusing you of not loving her or of having an affair.

So one of the first steps you have to take to resolve this problem is to be honest with your partner.

I know it's hard for a man to admit he's experiencing erection problems but the overwhelming majority of women are very understanding - in fact, they are often relieved to discover that's what the problem is.

Sharing this with your partner will also have the effect of relieving some of your anxiety - and that in itself will help since anxiety alone can cause, or certainly contribute to erection problems.

Most cases of temporary erection difficulties are simply cleared up if you and your partner agree that you won't try to have intercourse for a while.

That absolutely does not mean that you give up all the other ways of making love - kissing, cuddling, caressing, doing everything loving, arousing and satisfying you feel like doing.

Massage is a good way to get that loving closeness, and stimulate your hormones and physical responsiveness. The only thing to avoid is attempting intercourse itself.

After a few days, or weeks, you should find that one time you have intercourse easily just because you weren't worrying about it.

If you're a man without a regular partner you may wonder how you can help yourself with this problem. I often hear from men who are avoiding all relationships for fear of failure. The answer is to enjoy as much masturbation as you feel like.

Just follow your fancy. Try allowing your arousal to subside and then build it up again. When you do meet a partner with whom sex seems likely, confide in her.

Most women will be very sympathetic about this problem as long as you explain, and an affectionate couple can share plenty of sexual pleasure without needing a rock-hard erection. In fact, most women reach orgasm through stimulation other than intercourse.

Although most cases of temporary impotence are psychologically based, keeping the body in reasonably good working order helps keep us ticking over well sexually, too.

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Drinking too much alcohol lessens sexual responsiveness, both at the time (the notorious brewer's droop) and generally.

Three pints of beer or six single measures of spirits or small glasses of wine are as much as a man's body can cope with healthily in a day. Cut down if you're regularly drinking more than that and always have a couple of alcohol-free days a week.

Smoking has been realised to be an important cause of loss of sex drive and impotence in men. Smoking and unhealthy diet can both cause circulation problems which affect the blood supply to the crucial parts.

The first thing that many top specialists now recommend to people with such sexual problems, particularly if they are 40 or over, is to stop smoking and follow a healthy, high-fibre, low-fat diet. Regular exercise can also benefit your sexual well-being.

Be careful though about excessive cycling, either on an exercise bike or a real one with a hard narrow saddle.

This can damage the main artery to the penis, which in turn causes problems with erections.

Sexual problems are often also linked with anxiety. If you have been suffering from a lot of tension or worry it will help you recover your sexual responsiveness if you can learn to relax more out of bed as well as in it.

If you write to me I can send you my free leaflet on how to relieve stress.

If you feel your relationship is not close enough for you to begin loving and caressing one another as suggested, then that may be the problem causing the sexual failure.

Unresolved bitterness and unhappiness very often show up in sexual difficulties.

You may be subconsciously punishing your partner. If you can't sort out what are the real problems in your relationship by talking about it calmly between you, then make an appointment to see a counsellor at your local branch of Relate (0845 456 1310, www.relate.org.uk).

Relate also aim to have a sex therapist within 20 miles of everyone in the country, and you can also find a qualified sex therapist near you by contacting the British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapists (020 8543 2707, www.basrt.org.uk) but expect to pay private fees.

Now it can happen that, in spite of taking the emphasis off intercourse, and in spite of lots of loving and caressing, a man still can't manage to make love.

If you have been suffering from this problem for three months or more then you should see your GP to check whether there is a medical problem.

There have been considerable advances in treating this problem when it has a physical or hormonal cause, and seeing the doctor is important because erection difficulties can be an indicator of heart problems, for example.

You can also see a specialist at your local genito-urinary clinic - it's where they treat sexual infections but don't let that put you off benefiting from their expertise in this area.

What sorts of treatments are on offer? Viagra is the best known. It helps blood flow to the penis and seems to work in about 70 per cent of cases, whether the cause is physical or psychological, though it may not be so effective long-term if difficulties in your relationship are affecting your sex life.

There are worries about side-effects, such as heart attacks, especially if over-used, and it's obviously not suitable for some men, such as those with serious heart problems.

Viagra is only available on the NHS to patients falling into specific categories, such as men with diabetes and those who have had prostate surgery or spinal cord injuries, though others can obtain it as private patients.

If you're interested in Viagra, start with your GP. If he or she says you're not going to be eligible on the NHS but you could pay for private treatment, they will have to refer you to another GP or specialist. You'll have to pay for the consultation - costs can vary widely so it's worth shopping around - and then pay several pounds per tablet.

It may sound a lot but I suppose you have to decide whether a reliable erection is worth the price of a round of drinks down the pub.

I know Viagra is now on sale over the counter in Boots with certain restrictions but buying it this way tends to be even more expensive and a real snag is that Viagra needs to be taken at the correct strength to be safe but effective, so my advice is still to consult your GP, especially as erection difficulties can be a sign of a medical problem such as heart trouble.

While Viagra is still the best known, there are other drugs such as Uprima and Cialis, which can be more suitable than Viagra for some men. Cialis, for example, can now be prescribed in 36-hour and daily formulations, so you can choose to take one to cover the weekend, or a daily pill so you can always rely on being "up for it".

Cialis sales have overtaken those of Viagra now. The same prescribing restrictions apply as apply to Viagra, so it's a case of talking it all over with your own doctor first and whether you can afford it if you're not eligible on the NHS. And of course, none of these is a miracle drug.

A man still needs sexual stimulation and the desire to make love.

You can also talk to your doctor about other options. If you have been impotent for a prolonged period, treatment with the hormone testosterone might give your body the "kick-start" it needs to get back into action.

More and more is being understood now about how our body chemistry affects our sexual responsiveness.

However, hormones aren't a magic potion. Hormone treatment will only work if your hormone levels are the problem - though it can certainly be combined effectively with counselling or other talking-it through therapy. You can ask for a blood test to check your hormone levels.

Your GP can also prescribe the Muse system. This uses an applicator to insert a drug pellet into the urethra, the tube through which urine is passed.

It produces an erection in about five to ten minutes, during which time the penis needs stimulation, so you can continue with foreplay. It works well mainly for erection problems with a physical cause but you need precise instruction in how to use it.

Your doctor or a specialist can also instruct you in how to inject your penis with a drug that produces an erection. If your impotence has a physical cause, is not bound up with problems in your relationship, and you and your partner are happy about your producing erections with injections, this method may suit you.

Vacuum devices are also on the market but are clumsy to use, and rings which fit around the base of the penis to aid erection are available through your GP or specialist.

Gadgets, pills and potions sold in sex shops are often useless or even harmful. Do look for help via your doctor.

What it is important to realise about even reputable treatments is that they will never be the answer if the real problem lies in your relationship. Unless you have already seen a Relate counsellor or other properly qualified sex therapist about your impotence problem, I would strongly recommend that as the most promising place to start, as well as checking with your GP to see if medical treatment would help or perhaps a change of medication.

This is important, even if you find the idea of talking to your GP about sex problems embarrassing, as erection difficulties can be an indicator of heath problems.

Illnesses affecting nerve tissue, such as some cases of diabetes, can damage the nerves involved in causing erection. Circulation problems and some drugs, such as steroids, diuretics and those used to treat high blood-pressure problems, can make a firm erection difficult. Pain and infections can obviously damp down sex drive, as can depression and some of the drugs used for treating it.

GPs vary as to how knowledgeable they are at helping with sexual difficulties, but your GP can refer you for expert treatment if necessary. Some GPs have specialist training from the Institute of Psychosexual Medicine, and you can ask the Institute for details on 020 7580 0631 (www.ipm.org.uk ). Some hospitals have a special clinic attached to them, and you can ask for a referral there. However, most psychosexual medicine services are based in the community, usually attached to family planning services.

Some hospital genito-urinary medicine or GUM clinics - often called the special clinic - can help with this sort of problem. Treatment is totally confidential and you can usually refer yourself without having to go through your GP, which can be an advantage. It's certainly always worth asking.

If you can afford private treatment, you can also ask your GP to refer you to a private specialist. This is usually a better route to a reputable specialist than responding to an advertisement for a private sex clinic. You can also get advice from the Sexual Dysfunction Association on 0870 7743 571 (www.sda.uk.net).

I hope this has helped you understand the range of treatments available for impotence and will help you solve your erection problem. If you would like any further personal advice, do let me know. Write to problems@deardeidre.org. I'll look forward to hearing from you.

Do it daily to improve sperm Quality

Having sex every day improves men''s sperm quality, an Australian study has revealed.

In a study of men with fertility problems, researchers found that daily ejaculation for a week cut the amount of DNA damage seen in sperm samples.

"All that we knew was that intercourse on the day of ovulation offered the highest chance of pregnancy, but we did not know what was the best advice for the period leading up to ovulation or egg retrieval for IVF," Dr David Greening, an obstetrician and gynaecologist with sub specialist training in reproductive endocrinology and infertility at Sydney IVF, Wollongong, Australia, said.

"I thought that frequent ejaculation might be a physiological mechanism to improve sperm DNA damage, while maintaining semen levels within the normal, fertile range," he added.

To investigate this hypothesis, Greening studied 118 men who had higher than normal sperm DNA damage as indicated by a DNA Fragmentation Index (DFI).

Men who had a more than 15 percent of their sperm damaged were eligible for the trial. At Sydney IVF, sperm DNA damage is defined as less than 15 percent DFI for excellent quality sperm, 15-24 percent DFI for good, 25-29 percent DFI for fair and more than 29 percent DFI for poor quality; but other laboratories can have slightly different ranges.

The men were instructed to ejaculate daily for seven days, and no other treatment or lifestyle changes were suggested. Before they started, levels of DNA damage ranged between 15 percent and 98 percent DFI, with an average 34 percent DFI when measured after three days'' abstinence.

When the men''s sperm was re-assessed on the seventh day, Greening found that 81 percent men had an average 12 percent decrease in their sperm DNA damage, while 19 percent men and an average increase in damage of nearly 10 percent. The average for the whole group dropped to 26 percent DFI.

"Although the mean average was 26 percent which is in the ''fair'' range for sperm quality, this included 18 percent of men whose sperm DNA damage increased as well as those whose DNA damage decreased," Greening said.

"Amongst the men whose damage decreased, their average dropped by 12 percent to just under 23 percent DFI, which puts them in the ''good'' range. Also, more men moved into the ''good'' range and out of the ''poor'' or ''fair'' range. These changes were substantial and statistically highly significant.

"In addition, we found that although frequent ejaculation decreased semen volume and sperm concentrations, it did not compromise sperm motility and, in fact, this rose slightly but significantly.

"Further research is required to see whether the improvement in these men''s sperm quality translates into better pregnancy rates, but other, previous studies have shown the relationship between sperm DNA damage and pregnancy rates," he added.

Greening said he thought the reason why sperm quality improved with frequent ejaculation was because the sperm had a shorter exposure in the testicular ducts and epididymis to reactive oxygen species - very small molecules, high levels of which can damage cells.

"The remainder of the men who had an increase in DFI might have a different explanation for their sperm DNA damage," he said.

The study has been presented at the 25th annual meeting of the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology in Amsterdam.

Without Condom is good for mental health

Having sex without using condom is good for mental health, according to a new study.

Professor Stuart Brody, of the West of Scotland University, Paisley, and his colleagues conducted the study and found that unprotected heterosexual sex can significantly boost men and women''s mental wellbeing.

On the other hand, heterosexual sex with a condom is linked to poorer mental health, the study showed.

According to Brody, mankind is biologically programmed to enjoy unprotected sex because it gives couples an evolutionary advantage and maximises the chances of reproducing.

"Evolution is not politically correct, so of the very broad range of potential sexual behaviour, there is actually only one that is consistently associated with better physical and mental health and that is the one sexual behaviour that would be favoured by evolution. That is not accidental," the Scotsman quoted Brody as saying.

The researchers studied the sexual behaviour of 99 women and 111 men in Portugal.

They filled in questionnaires about the pleasure they derived from their sex lives and contraception use.

Using a measure of psychological health developed in Canada, Brody concluded that condom use was linked to members of the sample who exhibited problems dealing with stress.

He found that those who had unprotected sex appeared to be able to deal with stress in a more mature way by taking effective action. They also had better mental health.

However, his conclusions have been criticised by sexual health campaigners, who warned that unsafe sex leads to unwanted pregnancies and diseases.

Tony Kerridge of Marie Stopes International, the leading sexual health and reproductive health organisation, said: "I would have thought that the mental health of anyone would be tested if they found out they had a sexually transmitted disease or that there was an unwanted pregnancy.

"Particularly in the case of casual relationships where there is no desire to get pregnant, advice should always be that condoms should be used," Kerridge added.

The study has been published in the academic journal Archives of Sexual Behaviour.

Secret to youthful skin found

SCIENTISTS from Singapore and Germany have made a new discovery that may unlock the secrets of youthful skin.

The international team of scientists led by Dr Bruno Reversade from the Agency for Science, Technology and Research's (A*Star) Institute of Medical Biology (IMB) discovered that mutations in the PYCR1 gene cause a rare genetic condition which results in premature skin ageing, known as 'wrinkly skin syndrome'.

These novel findings, published in the Sept 1 issue of prestigious journal Nature Genetics, provide insight into how some unexpected genes help maintain youthful skin and could lead to ways of reversing the effects of ageing and wrinkled skin.

The research project involved collaborations with over 15 hospitals and research centres in 13 countries, said A*Star in statement on Tuesday.

Using bioinformatics tools, Dr Reversade and his team analysed rare DNA samples collected from affected patients across the world who, at a young age, displayed signs of premature ageing.

They identified the PYCR1 gene on chromosome 17 of these patients to be defective and found specific mutations in the gene that led to conditions often seen in elderly people, such as loose skin, loss of bone density, hip dislocation and cataract.

They also determined that skin and bone were the two tissues most severely affected in patients. As skin and bone contain high levels of the PYCR1 protein under normal circumstances, developing therapies that could increase the activity of the protein could possibly reverse the process of ageing in affected individuals or slow it down in normal people.

'Our findings... highlight the importance of metabolism as PYCR1 is important in the synthesis of proline, a common amino acid involved in metabolism. Age-defying and anti-wrinkling treatments for common disorders related to ageing may also benefit from sustaining proline metabolism,' said Dr Reversade.

Added Professor Birgit Lane, a skin biologist and Executive Director of IMB: 'The study is a great example of scientific synergy - when clinicians and scientists from around the world come together to share their specialist skills and knowledge, they can discover new insights into complex medical conditions.'

'Rare genetic disorders often provide surprising revelations. Pooling resources and targeting research to find new ways of combating disease - and benefiting people faster - is exactly what we try to do.'