Thursday, July 30, 2009

Men better at distance vision

LONDON - MEN are better at seeing things in the distance due to their hunter-gatherer past chasing animals, while women are better focusing on things at close range, a British study said on Thursday.

In findings which reflect how men's and women's brains have evolved differently over thousands of years, they found that men are better at judging faraway targets.

Researchers tested their theory by asking a group of 48 men and women to use a laser pointer to mark the midpoint of lines on a piece of paper at different distances.

Men were more accurate than women when the paper was placed at a distance of 100 centimetres, while women were more accurate when the target was only 50 cms away, within arm's reach.

'Evidence already exists that separate pathways in the brain process visual information from near and far space,' said psychologist Helen Stancey from Hammersmith and West London College.

'Our results suggest that the near pathway is favoured in women and the far pathway is favoured in men,' she said, in a study published online in the British Journal of Psychology.

And she said: 'These sex differences in visual processing may be a result of our hunter-gatherer evolutionary legacy.

'As the predominant gatherers, women would have needed to work well in near space, whereas the prey for (predominantly male) hunters would have been in far space.' -- AFP

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Gourmet guide to great sex

MAKING babies used to be fun.

But for so many couples desperate to conceive, nightly romps have become a joy-free zone, based on ovulation optimisation rather than pleasure.

Yet scientists are now saying that the best way to get pregnant is the old-fashioned approach - wild passionate sex like you had when you first dated.

Fertility experts are coining the term 'gourmet sex' - where both partners take the time to ensure the other has a satisfying experience - as the ultimate fertility treatment.

"The sex should be as wild and thrilling as it was when the couple first met, when they weren't thinking about babies, to give them the maximum possible chance of having a baby," said Dr Allan Pacey, secretary of the British Fertility Society.

An extra five minutes of foreplay before ejaculation can produce an extra 25 million sperm, according to experts.

The more excited sperm will also be of a higher standard, meaning there is a greater chance of the sperm and egg fusing to create a new life.

Here, sexpert and deputy editor of Scarlet Magazine, Laura Godman, gives us her top tips for sexual satisfaction that's good enough to eat.

The relationship

"It might not sound sexy, but it's relationship first, sex second for best results.

"Number one is your confidence in sharing any fantasies and problems you have with each other - and your ability to do that in a respectful way.

"If you are secretly longing to try something between the sheets it will benefit you both if you can discuss - and potentially explore - the fantasy.

"Unleashing a fantasy can add a new dimension to your relationship and the novelty-factor can increase excitement and passion.

"The key is to encourage discussion with your lover on fantasies and never to ridicule a partner's fantasies.

"By getting into this habit you'll feel a lot more liberated in your relationship - even if you choose not to try out a fantasy.

"Also, over time, it's easy to take each other's good points for granted.

"No matter how long you've been together you should always make the time to compliment each other.

"Tell your partner how sexy he looks when he's just out of the shower, or how good he makes you feel when he gives you oral - it'll increase his confidence in the sack overall.

The prep

"Before you let your guy worship you, worship yourself with an all-over body buff-up.

"Make time for a slow and sensuous shower before you have sex.

"As you lather up your body, stroke your skin and imagine your lover doing this.

"You'll feel your best making love knowing you're pampered and pristine and looking your most gorgeous.

"In terms of clothes, it's vital you get your underwear right.

"Try silky, tactile lingerie to sensitise the skin and a glam outfit so you feel absolutely gorgeous.

"A recent survey claimed most men found their women sexiest in a football or rugby shirt, so it's not so much what you wear but how you wear it and confidence is the best accessory to an outfit!

"Move slowly and sleekly, with a swing of the hips, maintain a good posture - so your bum and breasts stand out invitingly - and make eye contact.

The date

"To make everything perfect, try to avoid a huge meal, lots of alcohol or any gas-inducing foods before your big night.

"Alcohol can seriously inhibit performance and spicy or too much food might give you gas - the last thing you want when you are both trying to feel as sexy as possible.

"To really start the night off with a bang, I recommend reading each other erotic stories.

"Make sure the lights are dimmed and all mobile phones turned off, sit on bed or on a comfy sofa with an erotic book.

"With your voice lowered, quietly read a raunchy scene from the book into your lover's ear (the quietness and feel of your breath on his sensitive ear will have his attention zoned in on you).

"He'll get turned on hearing you relate the scenario and this is also a good opportunity to introduce new fantasies.

"The reading will pre-empt the sex and get have you both raring to go.

"To really personalise this experience, write your own erotic story to read to him - with you as the stars! - or ask him to join in making up a story on the spot.

"You can act out the story as you narrate it, if you're not too shy.

The foreplay

"Try and think outside of the box on the foreplay front - as what you like might not necessarily be so explosive for him, and vice versa.

"The best ideas are things that last - almost making foreplay into a game.

"Try some of these ideas for a change from the normal rubbing and kissing moves."

Concentrate on the less obvious body parts

"Instead of going straight for each other's genitals, take the time to awaken and explore other erogenous zones, such as the neck, nipples, back of the knees.

"Do this by stroking with a feather, fingers, tongue or - for you - with your breasts.

"Stroking with your breasts will be a tantalising touch for him plus it'll send zingy feelings through your nerve endings too."

Play hunt the sweet spot

"Blindfold your partner (or have him blindfold you) and daub a sweet and sticky liquid like syrup, honey or chocolate sauce, somewhere on your body.

"It is then you or your partner's task to find it - using only their tongue.

"This is a great opportunity for them to explore your body and for you to feel them exploring you intimately.

"But here's a tip - don't place it somewhere too obvious the first time as they'll go straight for that part."

Decorate your body in a variety of tasty foods

"From sliced strawberries and cream to melting chocolate and anything else he's fond of, cover your body with food.

"Then invite him to dine out on you, starting at your sensitive neck and your ankles, slowly working his way inwards to your vagina.

"Don't forget to drip some chocolate sauce in your belly-button - many women find the feel of a tongue licking inside very erotic!"

The sex

"Gourmet intercourse is all about having fun and as much pleasure as possible - so team work is required!

"And remember, if the aim is to both have an orgasm, they don't have to happen in sync.

"You should both be prepared to give directions and be directed.

"So, if your want him to stop sucking your nipples and nibble your neck instead, tell him.

"If he's finding having his back scratched off-putting, don't take offence, but ask what he'd rather your hands were busy doing!"

A new sex move to try:

"You lie on your back with your bottom propped on a pillow and your legs spread.

"He kneels between your legs and pulls them up, supporting your ankles on his shoulders.

"In this position, he enters you.

"This allows for a deep penetration.

"While he is doing this, either you or him use a vibrating ring, slipped on the finger, or bullet vibrator to stimulate you.

"The extra buzz will have you fizzing to a sublime climax and he'll benefit from vibrations from you too."

Don’t trust blokes with new sex jab

NO doubt women across the world will be doing jigs in the street at the news that us blokes can finally be injected with hormones to stop us producing sperm.

“No more worries about piling on the pounds on the Pill or forgetting to take it,” you might think. “He can go through the aggro at last. Pass me the chardonnay!”

But before you get too excited, take it from a bloke who knows how the average young male mind functions: It will never work.

Why not? Because most men are unreliable, forgetful, lazy, conniving liars who will stop at nothing to get full sex.

If you think it’s a Herculean task to get us to wear condoms, it will take a full-blown Biblical miracle to switch us on to the joys of injecting ourselves so we go infertile.

For starters, any woman who trusts the old “honest, love, we’ll be safe – I had the injection last week” needs her head testing.

Believe me when I say that, faced with the alternative of not getting a jump, men will lie about it. And guess who’ll be left holding the can? Not us.

Will women demand we carry certificates? Will Britain’s females be checking paperwork across the land before allowing men access to their inner sanctums? Would that be the ultimate turn-off, or what?

Second – and in my opinion, the real reason only a third of men actually completed tests of the jab – there’s the insurmountable problem of male vanity.

The male ego is a fragile thing and few of us will willingly “turn into a Jaffa” – i.e. go seedless. Firing blanks might be cool in cop shows but in real life it would just make us feel like we’re not proper men.

To women practically weaned on taking body-altering contraceptive pills, this might come as a shock, but that’s sadly just the way it is.

The biggest problem, though, is the old “meddling with nature” thing. There are two methods on test and both involve injecting men with hormones.

The first is testosterone, which I’ve heard makes you grow back hair like a Greek waiter, go bald or attack strangers.

The second is progestogen. To most men, this sounds like the female hormone, progesterone, which, scientifically speaking, is “summat to do with pregnancy, innit?”

Will it make us grow breasts? Having man boobs might be great for a day. But for life? No thanks.

Will we stop growing facial hair, becoming pre-teens with peach fuzz on our top lips?

Will we start sounding like Susan Boyle? Or worse, looking like her? In short, will we end up like ladyboys?

It’s meddling with nature, and is a whole can of worms guaranteed to send condom sales soaring.

Finally, unless your name rhymes with Feet Cocherty, what man would enjoy injecting? For all our posturing, we don’t like pain.

And anyway, is the pleasure of going bareback worth the discomfort of turning your body into a pin cushion with endless injections?

For that matter, would women take contraception if you had to inject it?

As a doctor might say: “You’ll only feel a little prick”.

And there you have it – it’s every man’s worst nightmare.

Should children attend funerals?

IT'S the question on everyone's lips right now.

Should a grieving child be allowed to attend their parent's funeral?

Eleven-year-old Paris Jackson's heartfelt message to her father proved the most memorable part of Michael Jackson's memorial on Tuesday.

But was it right to put her through such a traumatic experience?

Children's bereavement charity, Winston's Wish, believes that children should be given an informed choice - and not be forced into attending or staying at home.

"There's no right or wrong answer to whether a child should attend a funeral," says Brendan McIntyre, Family Services Manager at the charity.

"What is important is that they have information that helps them decide - but our 16 years of experience shows most children do choose to go.

"A child's vivid imagination often makes up what they don't know.

"Including and talking to children allows them to feel in control of something that can be very scary."

For younger children, Winston's Wish suggests using toys and play to help explain what a funeral means and how people are buried.

Through this play children feel more able to make the decision about attending their mum or dad's funeral.

If a child says they'd like to go to the funeral, check again nearer the time that they still want to go and make sure that someone, such as a relative or family friend, is there to keep a special eye on them.

Click here to find out more!

Brendan adds: "The death of a parent or sibling is one of the most fundamental losses a child will ever face. Involving children in saying goodbye is important in helping them to grieve and begin to rebuild their lives."

Do YOU think children should attend a parent's funeral? Tell us your opinion.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Mama Sutra online sex tips

MOTHER knows best - which is why the nation's mums have given the Kama Sutra sex manual an online make-over.

In a bid to rekindle the love-lives of Britain's parents they've come up with the Mama Sutra, a modern take on the good-time guide.

The fight-back follows a shock survey by the parenting website Netmums which revealed that most parents have sex less than once a week and fewer that one in four couples make love twice a week or more.

One new mum says: "Your sex drive is like your memory - use it or lose it! It might be a bit frightening at first and things will have changed."


She adds: "To be honest, your other half will probably be so grateful to be getting any that he won't care if you have a few wobbly bits or leaky boobs.

"The longer you leave it, the harder it is to get things back on track - so get back on that bike and ride!!!"

Another says: "Be selfish!"

"As long as baby is safe, warm, sleeping forget them for a while and think about what you and your partner need, usually sleep, but turn off the TV and do something more interesting instead."

Get touchy and turn to technology. suggests one mum: "We always have massages, we talk about our fantasies, however wild, and my husband works abroad quite a bit so we spice it up with sexy texts! That tends to keep us going!"

And if you haven't already booked a special Valentine night take a hint.

"If things are feeling a bit stale and unaffectionate between me and my partner, I suggest we go out together, just the two of us. For dinner, cinema, pub, etc. We dress up all smart and try to look our best and enjoy each other's company - feels like a first date! Then we come back, to a child-free home if possible, and have really loud passionate sex! The next day it feels like we've fallen in love all over again!"

Here are some more of their suggestions on keeping it steamy:

"Take your moments when you can, embrace the quickie and don't restrict yourself to the bedroom once the babies/kids are asleep!"

"Make sex a date. It's easy to be too tired or too busy to be spontaneous, but if you've planned to have sex on Tuesday night then sex then it will happen. It may seem a little strange to begin with but spontaneous or not the sex will still be enjoyable. Make the most of opportune moments, like the grandparents taking the children to the park for half and hour on Sunday morning."

What if the kids walk in?

"Our son overheard us! I told him Daddy dropped some money behind his chest of drawers and we were trying to move it. It was very heavy!"

"We told her we were playing a game when she walked in on us, trouble is she climbed onto my partners back so she could play too!"

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Hottest sex variations

When your relationship isn't a humdrum affair, then why should your sex life be dull and lifeless? There's more to a rocking sex life than just simple, great sex.

A marvelous sexual connection includes different kinds of sex, even the ones you haven't dared to experiment with perhaps. Check out the different kinds of love making acts you and your lover can indulge in for a night of passion.

Experimental sex

Couples in long-term relationship often opt for this kind of act as they miss the excitement and lust filled initial-days of their relationship. With time, a couple's love life loses its zing and to get it back one needs to try new things. "Try pushing the regular comfort zones. It may mean trying a new position or a new room in the house; you can even go for thrilling experiences like making love on the terrace or in the balcony or at some public place." explains Meera Wahi, married for last nine years.

Why to try : There's nothing like the moment when you're struggling for breath thinking, "That was amazing, we've never done that before." Experts suggest that no matter how long you've been in a relationship, you need to have an earth-shattering sexual experience every once in a while. What's more try pushing the boundaries, as this will heighten the trust between you two, create an exceptional comfort level and minimise the possibilities of casual flings outside the relationship. So, go ahead and clue in to your partner's covert bedroom urges to transform the every-night mediocre sex to a mind-blowing encounter. You'll harvest the sensually gratifying perks too.

Necessary sex
Necessary sex can be explained as 'just-for-the-heck-of-it sex', which is vital for a long-term relationship to retain its sexual spark. These are your very special, intimate 'me-time' moments which relieve stress, burns calories and lift spirits. Supports Mihika, a 31-year-old, new mom, "As a new mom, I am tired most of the times. However, I make special effort to get going in the bed and this makes me feel closer to him. Even if the sex isn't that good, it feels like the relationship has become stronger."

Why to try : Necessary sex is all about decreasing sexual anxiety, accomplishing the Big O, and feeling good about your sexual prowess. Experts say that regular physical contact actually tunes the brain into the need to feel emotionally close. By making sex a regular habit, you can open new avenues of bonding as a couple. Moreover, doing it sometimes when you are not in the perfect mood can gear you up for something much hotter the next time around. And most importantly, don't forget how much a hit-the-roof orgasm does to keep your sex spark bright.

Bummer sex
Admit it, for it's something that's bound to happen. An awkward grunt, a stupid expression, somebody walking in unexpectedly or may be slipping down the bed, all of us can have these embarrassing moments that we would like to ideally forget. Akhil, a 27-year-old choreographer, recollects, "We'd been together since last one year. The last time we were having sex, her roommate just walked in. We didn't know what to say. Finally I said, 'Whoops!' and we laughed our heart out. The voyeurism added to the fire, needless to say."

Why to try : Don't fret about imperfect moments in your sex life; just rejoice and hold your lover tight. Your ability to deal with embarrassing situations reflects the strength of your relationship, say experts. Real understanding is about being able to feel at ease with each other in awkward circumstances as well. Emotional presence and trust is the biggest aphrodisiac of all and often provides the sexual thrill which can last a lifetime. React positively to embarrassing sexual mishaps and she will add funny, cute and smart to her mental list of reasons as to why she chooses to be intimate with you.

Vacation sex
A new, romantic locale often allows lovers to rediscover each another in a new light. Amidst trying different platters, adventure sports or checking out a variety of nightlife activities, every evening feels like a special date night. Vacation sexcapades act as a catalyst to reignite the passion in a relationship and make a couple feel more connected. "When on a vacation, you're at your most carefree best, which means you can try out new things you won't have to be accountable for at home. We went to Kerala on a friend's recommendation, and needless to say we had the best sex ever," shares Sidhartha, a 39-year-old business man.

Why to try : Something about leaving the laptop behind, turning the cell phone off and relaxing makes the sex better. Experts say that being in a totally alien environment sparks a sense of adventure and boldness in couples. All of this adds up to stimulating sex, which is more gratifying and more memorable than what couples have at home. Moreover, a vacation is the best place to get 'sexperimental'. When people encounter new experiences, dopamine spikes in the brain, eliciting a feeling of all encompassing lust. This is one of the reasons a vast majority of relationship counsellors recommend regular getaways as one of the things that can help strengthen your bond.

Make-up sex
There is nothing like engaging in a sexual reconciliation after a long, gut-wrenching argument. The quality of such sex is directly proportional to the amount of time spent apart; courtesy - the phenomenal release of emotions. "After all the screaming and blaming is over and we proceed towards reconciling, I fall in love with him all over again. This after-fight sex gives me the same kick as that 'beginning sex' when we first meet. All of that anger is released into passion and it's like we just want to tear down the place," admits Mehul, who's been married for seven years.

Why to try : Experts believe that make-up sex is a quick and effective way to get rid of the frustrations from a past argument. Also, it gives women the opportunity to be sexually aggressive, which might be a welcome change. This kind of sex is overloaded with passion because you have the rush of very intense emotions, from anger to joy. And when you're intimate like that, you're likely to have a strong orgasm, which releases Oxytocin, the bonding hormone which creates a physiological bonding mechanism between you and your beau.

Solace sex
If you are feeling miserable, dejected, anguished or lonely, sex can be the perfect remedy. Soothing sex is more emotional, more engaging and possibly more expressive than the usual act, because the desire to connect to life is enormous. You concentrate on cuddling and affection, rather than on climaxing. Diksha Ramani shares her experience, "My husband lost his mom and my brother was going though a cancer ordeal. In those times, we resorted to sex. It just distracted us from all our problems and reiterated the fact that we are there for each other. It was like a life-asserting act in the face of grief."

Why to try : Research points out towards the fact that those who can count on their partners to be there for them emotionally have sex more often and enjoy it all the more. Experts say that making each other feel loved and cared for is the most powerful way to bring the psychological and physical elements of your relationship together. Solace sex intensifies your bond with your lover and makes lovemaking a great source of eroticism and ecstasy. Such consoling acts may not necessarily be exciting, but it makes you feel very good and lifts up your dampened spirits. Moreover, when people feel safe with each other, they can also deal with their differences and problems effortlessly.

Supersensual Sex
With sensual sex, it's not only about where you and your partner are going, but the process that gets you there. Remember that women aren't the only ones who desire slow-burn sexual intimacy. So whenever you have the gift of time, indulge in expressive lovemaking, which can be a blissful surprise and act like a relationship booster. "Knowing that he cares enough to love me for hours makes me feel very good. At that time, I feel as if I am his one and only priority. And trust me, such emotional benefits do have long-lasting effects," says Ridhima.

Why to try : Experts believe that supersensual sex is an extension of selfless love, which fulfills, satisfies, and helps couples bonds. This is when emotional candidness and sensitivity, affectionate touches and erotic exploration all unite. The key requirement here is not crazy sexual techniques, but a safe emotional acquaintance. Moreover, your bond in general feels more cherished when you turn the bedroom into a place which is not just about sexual sensations. The safer we feel emotionally, the more we can communicate, express our needs, play and explore our responses, and relax into sexual feelings.

Do not bind your experiences to the standard fare, when there's a whole sensual world out there for you both to explore. After all, spicing up your sex routine can bring the much-required mystery and adventure to your love life, and keep it grooving.