Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Gourmet guide to great sex

MAKING babies used to be fun.

But for so many couples desperate to conceive, nightly romps have become a joy-free zone, based on ovulation optimisation rather than pleasure.

Yet scientists are now saying that the best way to get pregnant is the old-fashioned approach - wild passionate sex like you had when you first dated.

Fertility experts are coining the term 'gourmet sex' - where both partners take the time to ensure the other has a satisfying experience - as the ultimate fertility treatment.

"The sex should be as wild and thrilling as it was when the couple first met, when they weren't thinking about babies, to give them the maximum possible chance of having a baby," said Dr Allan Pacey, secretary of the British Fertility Society.

An extra five minutes of foreplay before ejaculation can produce an extra 25 million sperm, according to experts.

The more excited sperm will also be of a higher standard, meaning there is a greater chance of the sperm and egg fusing to create a new life.

Here, sexpert and deputy editor of Scarlet Magazine, Laura Godman, gives us her top tips for sexual satisfaction that's good enough to eat.

The relationship

"It might not sound sexy, but it's relationship first, sex second for best results.

"Number one is your confidence in sharing any fantasies and problems you have with each other - and your ability to do that in a respectful way.

"If you are secretly longing to try something between the sheets it will benefit you both if you can discuss - and potentially explore - the fantasy.

"Unleashing a fantasy can add a new dimension to your relationship and the novelty-factor can increase excitement and passion.

"The key is to encourage discussion with your lover on fantasies and never to ridicule a partner's fantasies.

"By getting into this habit you'll feel a lot more liberated in your relationship - even if you choose not to try out a fantasy.

"Also, over time, it's easy to take each other's good points for granted.

"No matter how long you've been together you should always make the time to compliment each other.

"Tell your partner how sexy he looks when he's just out of the shower, or how good he makes you feel when he gives you oral - it'll increase his confidence in the sack overall.

The prep

"Before you let your guy worship you, worship yourself with an all-over body buff-up.

"Make time for a slow and sensuous shower before you have sex.

"As you lather up your body, stroke your skin and imagine your lover doing this.

"You'll feel your best making love knowing you're pampered and pristine and looking your most gorgeous.

"In terms of clothes, it's vital you get your underwear right.

"Try silky, tactile lingerie to sensitise the skin and a glam outfit so you feel absolutely gorgeous.

"A recent survey claimed most men found their women sexiest in a football or rugby shirt, so it's not so much what you wear but how you wear it and confidence is the best accessory to an outfit!

"Move slowly and sleekly, with a swing of the hips, maintain a good posture - so your bum and breasts stand out invitingly - and make eye contact.

The date

"To make everything perfect, try to avoid a huge meal, lots of alcohol or any gas-inducing foods before your big night.

"Alcohol can seriously inhibit performance and spicy or too much food might give you gas - the last thing you want when you are both trying to feel as sexy as possible.

"To really start the night off with a bang, I recommend reading each other erotic stories.

"Make sure the lights are dimmed and all mobile phones turned off, sit on bed or on a comfy sofa with an erotic book.

"With your voice lowered, quietly read a raunchy scene from the book into your lover's ear (the quietness and feel of your breath on his sensitive ear will have his attention zoned in on you).

"He'll get turned on hearing you relate the scenario and this is also a good opportunity to introduce new fantasies.

"The reading will pre-empt the sex and get have you both raring to go.

"To really personalise this experience, write your own erotic story to read to him - with you as the stars! - or ask him to join in making up a story on the spot.

"You can act out the story as you narrate it, if you're not too shy.

The foreplay

"Try and think outside of the box on the foreplay front - as what you like might not necessarily be so explosive for him, and vice versa.

"The best ideas are things that last - almost making foreplay into a game.

"Try some of these ideas for a change from the normal rubbing and kissing moves."

Concentrate on the less obvious body parts

"Instead of going straight for each other's genitals, take the time to awaken and explore other erogenous zones, such as the neck, nipples, back of the knees.

"Do this by stroking with a feather, fingers, tongue or - for you - with your breasts.

"Stroking with your breasts will be a tantalising touch for him plus it'll send zingy feelings through your nerve endings too."

Play hunt the sweet spot

"Blindfold your partner (or have him blindfold you) and daub a sweet and sticky liquid like syrup, honey or chocolate sauce, somewhere on your body.

"It is then you or your partner's task to find it - using only their tongue.

"This is a great opportunity for them to explore your body and for you to feel them exploring you intimately.

"But here's a tip - don't place it somewhere too obvious the first time as they'll go straight for that part."

Decorate your body in a variety of tasty foods

"From sliced strawberries and cream to melting chocolate and anything else he's fond of, cover your body with food.

"Then invite him to dine out on you, starting at your sensitive neck and your ankles, slowly working his way inwards to your vagina.

"Don't forget to drip some chocolate sauce in your belly-button - many women find the feel of a tongue licking inside very erotic!"

The sex

"Gourmet intercourse is all about having fun and as much pleasure as possible - so team work is required!

"And remember, if the aim is to both have an orgasm, they don't have to happen in sync.

"You should both be prepared to give directions and be directed.

"So, if your want him to stop sucking your nipples and nibble your neck instead, tell him.

"If he's finding having his back scratched off-putting, don't take offence, but ask what he'd rather your hands were busy doing!"

A new sex move to try:

"You lie on your back with your bottom propped on a pillow and your legs spread.

"He kneels between your legs and pulls them up, supporting your ankles on his shoulders.

"In this position, he enters you.

"This allows for a deep penetration.

"While he is doing this, either you or him use a vibrating ring, slipped on the finger, or bullet vibrator to stimulate you.

"The extra buzz will have you fizzing to a sublime climax and he'll benefit from vibrations from you too."

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